P.S: I’m still on BREAK but “Hada Bena2an 3ala Talab El Jamaheer” LOOOOOOOOOOL :)
Before I came to United States I thought I knew the feeling of being homesick because of previous long visits to LA during my life, in my case, I was wrong.
Being out of familiar surroundings can be incredibly disorienting and frustrating in pragmatic ways, like just not knowing where stuff is, and it can be surprisingly draining. The lack of familiarity in social situations - not understanding various subtleties and cultural references that can make communication difficult and frustrating.
For me, when I feel homesick I feel a profound sense of sadness, loneliness and separateness. I feel misunderstood, socially awkward and like I stick out like a sore thumb. I feel these emotions even though I have friends here in USA who love and care about me and who tell me that no, I’m not a social idiot. But when I’m feeling these feelings I find it impossible to believe them in fact it gave my self confidence a real blow that I’m still recovering from.
Plus, being away from family though a relief in many ways (you all know what I mean) is very painful, especially when there is an illness, special occasion or whatever and you’re stuck on the outside of it.
Homesickness, at times, has hit me very hard. More so in the first couple of years than now and I think more extreme than the average migrant as I’m highly sensitive, a bit of a wimp and came here on my own with very little social support. I’m tearing up just remembering (I don’t just have the t-shirt, I have the full ensemble with matching luggage) but I don’t think that happens to everyone.
But now and after some effort on my part, most times I feel ‘at home’. My best friend and other mates are Americans or are other expat Canucks off doing things in other parts of the globe and we can relate in being ‘expats’ though in different countries. Lately when I talk to my family and friends in USA I don’t feel I’m on the same wavelength anymore though I still get along with them.
Migration, even temporarily, forces you to grow and sometimes it hurts - but that pain it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
