The Arab Expats

Since we are all Expats, I thought we should introduce the cities and towns where we live to everybody else.

Meet San Jose, CA. A city of over a million and the capital of Silicon Valley. The birth place of technological advancements and the entrepreneurial spirit. Its a city of more than 300 days of sun shine a year, yet it snows almost every year. A very diverse city, although Latinos and Asians are of the Largest “minorities.” San Jose is home to the Sharks (Hokey), the Earthquakes (Soccer, as of 2008), and Stealth (Lacrosse). San Jose is also known as the first capital of the state of California.

Ramadan, the holy month for Muslims. Is the hardest month on people away from their families and homes. Not only is it tasteless and even painful for people away, but it also adds emotional pain on top of everything physical a fasting person has to endure during the Fast
Most people around us, are completely unaware what a fasting person is going through. Most don’t know or even care that you are fasting or not. It doesn’t matter to them at all.
Don’t get me wrong, Fasting is a religious ritual that is amazingly beautiful. It helps people of faith bond more with god. It helps the body cleans and detoxify from all poisons that filled our life physically and spiritually. It’s our opportunity to clear our minds, souls and hearts from the illnesses that have been clutching to them all through the year.
Many wait for Ramadan, impatiently as their chance to seek forgiveness for the sins that have been accumulating for years. But for those attempting to practice it away from home, there’s a huge toll to pay. There’s no one to take care of things, or help them through things. Most have to break their fast all alone in their homes. Or with a very limited group of friends. Most are busy, most are too consumed by life and getting the job done to be able to have the warmth of a family or to enjoy a real breakfast feast. Like the ones back home..

It’s really the toughest Month, it’s even harder than trying to maintain our individuality or identity away from home. May god help us through this tough month and accept our fasting and prayers

Dear Jordanian and Arab bloggers,

I would like to thank you for the show of force you all carried out recently. You showed bureaucrats that there are forces in the Jordanian society other than helpless political parties, useless government press, and impotent parliament. I would like to thank you for the solidarity you all showed pointing to a potentially powerful voice of change.

In a country used to the status quo, change is hard. However, within clicks, the system came running answering our demands. It only took clicks, but it also took desire and determination to do whats right. You have made it clear that you need things done. Your actions, although  affected only one family directly,  it felt so great by thousands of others and gave all of us hope that change is coming.

I would also like to specifically thank:

Qwaider for having Qwiader.com. For it provided a connecting point for all of us.

Batir Wardam for being a courageous Nashmi and delivering a valuable message  to the digitally challenged bureaucrats.

The other online news outlets that cared about the average Jordanian.  

I am hoping that we can continue with changing perceptions, cultures, and minds. Jordan is a great country being held back by only a few powerful negative forces. But, if we back each other we will surely neutralize them.

A Jordanian Expat

One of the most frustrating things about being being far from your loved ones is that in times of need you feel helpless.

No matter how much communication is made easier these days, you are able to talk, see, share and interact with the people you care about virtually whenever you want, the main obstacle that will never be overcame is the evolution of perception which you can’t emulate.

The manner that people in perceive things during times of crisis is the most frustrating thing you can encounter, regardless of your will to help in reality the more you insist on that the more it will detract from resolving the situation. So you end being stuck with your need to help out but you fail to realize that you are totally helpless in that regard, and no matter how bad you might feel about it, it might actually be better if you have never been informed about the crisis since there is little that you can do, and all you have contributed is the extra distress level to the people effected by the crisis.

So personally speaking, no matter how dire the situation I was in I found it childish and irresponsible to make the people dear to me worry about it if they are unable to contribute to a solution. Now some might digress and point out that the emotional support is more than enough to them, to me that is selfish since the feelings that you are bestowing on the people that will be worried sick about you is too much to ask for just that you would feel better about your self that there is someone who cares.

I am not sure how appropriate it is to post this after that unfortunate incident with who-sane’s father but it certainly made me think about it.

In this case luckily Who-sane was able to free himself of his commitments and go back to help out with the situation but what if you where faced with a situation where somebody is not able to do so without being taxed by a hefty penalty would it be better to inform them of the situation or to just tell them about it after it has been fully resolved for better or worse ?

ps. no longer a bumbum

This is about the shocking story that everybody is talking about, the family tragedy that happened to our friend and brother Who-Sane.

As a member Arab Expats and a friend to this great guy, I felt that we all have to do something, so the people responsible will get what they deserve.

To read the whole story as Who-Sane tells it please go HERE

To read it in Arabic as our friend M Kilany translated it thankfully go HERE

And Who_Sane; we are working on something I promise you, these people will pay for their actions.

From me and all your friends here in Arab Expats and all the other blogs, we wish your father to get will soon.. we will pray for him every day.

Update:

I sent the story to :

احمد حسن الزعبي

ahmedalzoubi@hotmail.com

He is a well known journalist at al Ra’ai newspaper, please send him the story with me.

Having been brought up by a strictly Nasserist father and very socialist mother, I was always brought up to believe that there is no such thing as class.

“If you work hard enough, you can get anywhere” I was told. To some extent that is true, I doubt that my forefathers would ever have believed it possible that their offspring would one day be living in the UK and studying at Oxford but then circumstances change with time and I have always said that I owe my mere existence to Nasser’s revolution.

However, looking at a friend’s engagement photos I was distinctly reminded that there is still such a thing as class. While I inspected her dress, and the lavish party and many guests, it dawned on me that as a ‘westerner’ one is allowed to transcend some divisions in the Arab social system. Living here means that one mixes freely with anyone who happens to call themselves ‘Arab’ and the massive differences in currency mean that places that would ordinarily be inaccessible to anyone other than the privileged classes, hold their doors open.

Arabs in diaspora seem to almost attain a ‘classless-ness’ because of their distance from the society. Is this why people emigrate?

So I finally learned how to bargain.

Well, sort of. I lost my bargaining skills when I left Saudi Arabia. Here in Dubai, bargaining is like asking for trouble. Still, there are many shops you can bargain in.

STEP 1: Know Where To Bargain

If you live in a place where bargaining is not part of shopping (i.e. price tags rule), then knowing if a local store allows you to bargain or not takes some trial and error. Here is a list of things you can do to find out:

- Check the price of an item. A few days later, send another friend (preferrably good looking) to check the price. If it changed, you can bargain.
- Claim you saw the exact same item in another shop for a slightly cheaper price. If the shopkeeper doesn’t give a legitimate excuse (don’t fall for “this is genuine leather”), then you can bargain
- Note the price of the shoe you want. During a sale, calculate if the now-lower price corresponds to the sale percentage they mentioned. If it isn’t, then most likely you can take them to court and own the store (it helps if you take photos of the before-and-after price tag)
- If you’re buying electronics, ask how much will it cost without warranty. If any answer is given, then most likely the item doesn’t have a warranty to begin with. Bargain!
- Play the “bulk” game. Especially effective for textiles. If the salesperson provides a cheaper rate for you 40000 foot roll than the 400 foot one, you can bargain.

STEP 2: How To Bargain (without getting shot)

Now that you know you can bargain, you can use different tactics depending on the shop owner. Owners of Indian origins are astoundingly stubborn and may need extensive skills to work through. I will tell you about them here (you need to use most of them). For other nationalities you may use only a subset.

- Precalculate the cost price of the product. It is typically around 35%-55% depending on the item (shoes and textiles in particular are child-labor, so you can go for more).
- Assume that the price is 100. You need to give an absurdly low price, one even you can’t accept. Say 65. The conversation will go like this (starting with you):
65, no no no I will run out of business! no less than 100, 75, no no mam I am sorry I cannot sell it!, but look there is a scratch here, i will bring you another item mam, i don’t want the other one I want this khallesni 3ad 85 yalla, no no no mam I cannot do it
- At this point you have two options, you either be stubborn and take the item and pay 85 or put it down and say you will go to another store. Making a scene always works.
- Some store owners challenge you, and tell you if you find it cheaper at another store they will give it to you for the lowered price (or even free). Do so and the item is yours (I got 4 free DVDs from the same shop that way).
- If it takes you longer to reach a deal, don’t despair, here is a bargain scenario I had 4 days ago:

240, 180, 240, 185, 235, 185, 235, 185, 235, 185, 235, 190, 235, 190, 230, 190, 230, 190, 225, 190, 225, 190, 225, 195, 225, 195, 225, 195, 225, 195, 225, 190, !!!!, 195, 225, 210, done.

Now if we were in our countries, bargaining will be like:

240
ya zalame ma ebtestahel, khallesni 220
mabeddak khalas, fek 3anni
hata bi 210 w beb3atlak flan eyzabbetlak el satellite
twakkal 3a rabbak

Decisions Decisions Decisions!

I walk down the isles at the supermarket and I see ten versions of the same product.

You want tissue paper? well there’s many many many items to chose from, 2 ply, 3 ply, with lotion, without lotion, with anti bacterial lotion, with scent, without a scent , square box, oval box(yes, oval!) and on and on and on. How can you fill a whole isle with tissue box products? In Amman they make your life easy, you go to the supermarket and you say,:”Can I have Fine please?”  (By the way are there any other prodcuts in Amman?)

This not only applies to tissues, it applies to anything and everything here in Canada, you want a can of corn? Oh buddy there would be 3 shelves of different kinds of corn.

I have to admit, it needed getting used to when I first got here where I would go shopping for 4 items and end up spending a whole hour just reading labels to decide between do I need this detergent that has those super magical dimanond crystals that makes your clothes look better on you (heheheh) or just Tide.

But now I love it! There is something for everyone…. although I also have to admit that sometimes I just want to buy a melon!

Part of every expatriate trip is the trip back home. Despite the fact that we are usually floating half the time to go home. It adds a huge amount of misery and suffering to the expat
The amount of preparation, the halting of life. The excessive shopping for “things” that the family back home will enjoy and the never ending list of items requested that you’re supposed to get requested because you’re “away”
Then the extra weight and the extra bills to get it sorted out to carry a ton of crap! I’m sure there is crap where you’re going but you just have to take the crap “made proudly in China” just happens to bought in some other country
Then comes the endless lines at the airports and if you happen to be one of the “lucky” people living in the western civilization. Then expect couple more hours of delay while you go through “Random security checks”
You sit in a tight little seat with the guy in front of you snoring in your lap. The girl next to you drooling (literally) on your shirt. The lady across the aisle changing her son’s soiled diaper IN YOU NOSE while the kids behind you is playing footsie on the back of your neck!
But you’re willing to take all of that for the sake of those precious moments you’re going to spend with your beloved family
The hostess arrives asking you to make a choice between junk or crap! And you end up taking crap because it has less calories and have not been recently the epicenter of food poisoning at the national level.
So you get your dish of crap and you end up getting food poisoning anyway! You spend the rest of the flight hugging the tight little toilet seat cause really, if you stood up your head is going to bang the ceiling. If you sneezed your head is going to splat all over the mirror and if you breathe you’ll over extend the little door that you had to squeeze and exhale to pass through like that goddamn tight genes from the days of high-school, 28 inches ago
Then the plain touches down and 400 people immediately spring up and stand on the tip of your head! It seams that they’re all late for a very important meeting at 9PM, and standing up helps them get there faster
Cell phones flipping, baby diapers flying, hostess on speaker phone cussing and begging everyone to “remain seated until the plane has come to a full and complete stop and the doors are open”. Of course, no way anyone would remember that “the contents of the over head compartments may have shifted during flight” and “watch while opening the over head compartment” since it will fall down on someone’s head and render them unconscious
Now the arrival… is a whole other story!

During the weekend I watched the movie Sabah. It tells the story of a Syrian family moved to Canada and how they are trying to fit in the community there, the eldest brother “Majid” is taking care of the family and is trying to keep it a conservative one according to the “Arabic traditions”. Meanwhile, his sister “Sabah”, a 40 year old single veiled woman, falls in love with a Canadian guy “Stephen”, which puts her in a dilemma, her family can’t know about her love and obviously the relation won’t work, but still she loves him and don’t want to lose him.

The main topic of the movie is the relation between Sabah and Stephen, there are other side stories like the arranged marriage and the Arabic community being a Macho one, where males are dominant, and have the right to do any thing without being held accountable for it, while the females, on the other hand, are not granted such freedom, and most of the time they are forced to things they wouldn’t choose if they were free to choose.

Now regarding the relation of Sabah and Stephen I really don’t know where I stand, looking at it religion-wise it is not allowed and not possible for a Muslim woman to marry a non Muslim.

Cultural-wise it is quite different, mainly the Arabic culture is based on Islam, so such relation is quite not possible, yet the culture itself changes due to many factors, for the family of Sabah, for example, it is mainly because they are introduced to a different culture in which the relation only depends on the two parts of it and how they are getting along. but the relation is still strange.

Looking at the relation itself, you see a couple who make a good match, in love with each other and there is not a reason, relation-wise, to separate them form each other.

Macho-wise, this is not what her macho brother arranged for her! So it shouldn’t work.

I still don’t know what I think about it, but what do you think?